Saturday, January 24, 2009

Best. Present. Ever.

Today, the mail lady brought what has to be the best. present. EVER. Our friend, affectionately known and heretofore referred to as "the Dood," had purchased this for us for Christmas. It's called the "Yacker Tracker." For those of you that grew up in the 80's with me, this may bring a bit of silly nostalgia. Crushing on Ricky Schroeder in Silver Spoons, I always wanted a real working stop light in my room. Now, I have one with a purpose!

This beauty is a noise level detection and deterrent system! That's right! Just plug this bad boy in, set it to the acceptable decibel level and let the quiet times roll! Those who know me know that I, in futility, utter the phrases, "Quiet down," "Settle down," and "Shush, shush please" (think the scene in Encino Man where the douche jock is hanging the sweet nerd from his undies on the wall of the cafeteria). I'm not thick, I know the futility of my attempts with 4 boys in the house. But this, this is my hope, my audio savior.


I set mine to decibel level 60. This seems acceptable for now. When all is good and the noise level is acceptable, the light remains green. When the noise level creeps to 15 decibels above what has been set, the light flashes yellow. Once it reaches 30 decibels above what has been set, the red light flashes and a siren briefly sounds. Now, with a noise monitor, one would question the decision of making a loud siren go off once the noise has already reached epic proportions, but I can appreciate the idea. It lets the kids know, without me saying anything, to settle down or the pain is coming!

To put this in perspective, normal conversation flows at around 40 decibels. A restaurant during rush hour, hits levels of around 80 decibels and roadside construction hits around 110. That's right, the noise in my house at any given time is between rush hour at a restaurant and roadside construction. But, not any more!

So, thank you to "the Dood!" A brilliant, funny friend who truly cares for our family, and my sanity! If you want to get one for your family (a Yacker Tracker, not "the Dood"), hit up Amazon.